Grief: The Price We Pay For Love
Grief is a natural and normal reaction to loss…loss of any kind. It is a physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological response. The death of a loved one is perhaps the most devastating loss one may experience. Yet grief occurs following any change in our lives; even positive changes can bring a momentary grief response.
Grief is a complex process, guided by our past experiences, our religious beliefs, our socio-economic situations, our physical health, and the cause of the loss. Love, anger, fear, frustration, loneliness, and guilt are all part of grief. It is important to understand that grief is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith. Grief is the price we pay for love.
Grief support group meets the 3rd Thursday of every month at 3pm. Meetings are held at the Clinton Senior Center, 970 E Sedalia Ave. Grief support group is open to all who need help in this process. For more information please contact us at 800-328-5446 or 660-890-2014.
Stages of Grief
SHOCK: The shock of death is to be expected. During this stage a person often does things almost automatically, and may experience a numbing of feelings. Shock usually wears off after several weeks. A typical thought might be, “I can’t believe this is real”.
EMOTIONAL RELEASE: After the shock fades away, an individual may experience some very intense feelings of loss, sadness, fear, and anger. Persons may discover how much they missed the person who has died. Common thoughts would be: “I can’t stop crying”, and “It’s not fair that I am going to have to go on without him”.
DEPRESSION: During this stage the bereaved may feel intense loneliness. They may experience a loss of motivation and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. They may also experience a loss of appetite and find it difficult to sleep through the night. Typical thoughts would be: “I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again”, and “Why couldn’t it have been me”?
HOSTILITY: It is normal for a person to feel angry over the loss of a loved one. Many persons feel a rage, and they may target God, the doctors, or other persons for the death of the one they loved. Persons may thing: “The doctors should have been able to save her”, and “How could a loving God let someone suffer so much”?
FEAR: The loss of a loved one often reminds us of our own mortality. Many fear being alone. Others simply fear that they will never get over their depression, and that they will be forced to go on never feeling the happy feelings of life again. A common thought would be, “It might be me next”.
HEALING OF MEMORIES: The bereaved may alternate between memories of the good times and the bad times. It is emotionally healthy to allow oneself to face memories as long as the bereaved doesn’t dwell on the memories. In time the memories will become less painful.
ACCEPTANCE: In this stage the bereaved is able to gradually accept the reality of the death and to “let go” in a positive way. Acceptance may take one, two, or even more years to achieve. When acceptance has been achieved the loved one who has died can be remembered with little or no emotional pain at most times.
Below are some guidelines to help yourself through grief
- Acknowledge the loss.
- Accept the pain of grief. Try to live through it, not avoid it.
- Share your thoughts and feelings. Find enough compassionate listeners. You can talk more then one person can listen!
- Understand that each person has an individual “timetable” for grief. Each person grieves separately and differently. We each move through grief at our own pace.
- Find your sense of humor. Try to hang on to it!
- Get some physical exercise. If nothing else, jog your memory.
- Learn to hug again.
- Accept yourself. Begin to understand you are someone new. Acknowledge that change.
- Begin to become the person you already are…
- Remember, though death comes, LOVE NEVER GOES AWAY.
Medicare Certified & Free-Standing
We are Medicare Certified, so you don't have to worry about your loved one's care being covered.
We focus on patients, not profits. The need of the patient and family members dictate what we do, not the need to be profitable.
Twin Lakes Hospice was established in 1985 and serves all of Benton and Henry and St Clair counties and portions of Bates, Cass, Pettis, Johnson, and Hickory counties.
Our central office is located in Clinton at 725 E. Ohio Street. Office hours are Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m.- 4:30 p.m. There is a nurse on call after hours and on weekends for patient emergencies.
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